In the event of a burglary or home invasion anything could happen up there, like, you know…  rape

My great grandad, looks a bit like Marlon Brando

A photo my grandad took of the ‘Crossing the Line’ ceremony while on tour in the Royal Navy about 1947.

Caption on the back reads ‘Neptune and his wife (aint she big)’

Government’s new strategy on Schools and Public Services.

Man walks into a Pawn Shop.

Man: I’m looking to get rid of this, I inherited it and I have no use for it.

Pawnbroker: That’s a shame Sir, it’s such a delightful little thing. Look at the little School, University, Library, Hospital and Police Station; my kids would love something like this. Perhaps you want to keep it in the family and pass it on down the generations.

Man: No I don’t think so, nobody in or close to the family’s interested, - besides it’s a pain to look after.

Pawnbroker: That’s a surprise Sir, most people like to keep things like that on for their children, most can’t afford to buy something of this quality for themselves. Do you want to pawn it or just rid it?

Man: I won’t be back for it, if I decide that id like one for my children I can just pay for a new one.